Moitié plein

Before I begin to update about the rest of my adventures with Chris I need to sort out some thoughts before they leave my head. On my walk home yesterday from here at the cyber café I felt the emptiness already seeping in with Chris gone. As hard as I tried to push it away and tell myself four months is not long my heart still told me my life was back to the way it was before he came. This is not to say it was a bad thing, not in the least, but each day I awoke trying to find where I was, because without him life does not feel like reality and around him I feel at home. But as he entered his terminal and I made my unenergized walk to the TGV station I looked at the HSBC ads on the walls saying that everyone has a different perspective on things that we all must respect, and the first one showed a glass either half empty or half full. After my talks with Chris about our New Year's resolutions on our train to Roscommon I know what I want to do with the rest of my year here, and watching "Happy Feet" just now at the cinéma drove the point home even further. "You don't find yourself, you create yourself" said one Simon Frederick, and his son said that its not that our thoughts are special and unique, but how we act on them is what makes us different. As I work on creating my personal identity and finding forms of self expression each day I have to not let the feeling of not being home bring me down. Because later I will miss France being my home. Today is Sunday, a day that brings home the point even further that I'm not in the U.S. due to the fact that every store and almost every restaurant is closed. And on my walk here in the "doux" climat I realized I am surrounded by so many things I wouldn't have the opportunity to see if I were home, plus I wouldn't be walking (it'd be freezing and the view next to Hall Rd isn't the most picturesque). By being here today I saw: swirling architecture at the top of the building next to the tram stop which I had never noticed before, a couple getting the merde scared out of them when a barking chiant chien came up from behind them, bathrooms at the cinema that are for both men and women with only saloon style doors that seperate them, "Happy Feet" in French but with the songs in English so I get the best of both worlds, and my favorite was a man unicycling down the street. Its all about persepective. And though I feel half empty right now, I am going to force my thoughts to be half full. Maybe this blog makes me Time's Person of the Year, I am taking the information age, or Web 2.0 as they put it, and creating my own personal identity out of it, and it delights me to know you care about me enough to be interested in reading it.