It's real

It hit me last night as Chris and I were saying goodbye that this is really happening, oddly enough it was his brown sweater that brought us to that realization. His sweater being his replacement, keeping me warm as I left for Macomb for my final week in the states. We were trying to be so tough, and I knew that my last glances at his apartment and at Grand Rapids really were the last I would see of it, but it took reading his mind as he insisted on me wearing that sweater to let the rivers of tears flow on both our parts. The chill in the air makes it real also, a chill that makes you want to cuddle up next to someone and watch football which normally I adore, but for me is a cold realization that its time to go. Not that I am not excited, as I imagine the endless possibilities of exploration I will have daily, its the fact that I have to go it alone. But this weekend was another realization for me, that I have so many wonderful people behind me, telling me they're proud of me and how much they'll miss me. This weekend was one of the best of my life, which you would think would make me more leery to leave that behind, but I am ready for change, and I know that the friends that were there for me this weekend will always be there, and I never want to let them go. In the end the time will fly and I will feel the same way about the people I will meet in France; wondering where the time went, appreciating the memories and all I have learned, but being drawn back home to the ones I love. I will miss you all. And I still don't know fully why it is I have to go besides the career benefits, but I know I will find it out. And though I may change as a human being, I will never change who I am inside or how much I love and care for everyone. Je t'aime tous et merci pour tout.